Personal Legend Part I
My Personal Legend? Well it’s been a long time since I’ve thought about my Personal Legend. Actually I believe the last time I thought about my Personal Legend was when I actually was in possession of it, when I was a child, pre-teens to be precise. Looking back now at twenty nine years of age trying to find and re-introduce myself to my own Personal Legend is daunting, and the hindsight fuzzy, but since when have daunting, fuzzy thoughts or prospects ever held me back? Why start hesitating now?
A lot of factors have prompted all this Personal Legend questioning. I’ve been getting ill a lot lately. I’m not referring to your run of the mill cold or flu. I’m referring to something that is much more connected to your mood and mental disposition. For a while now I have been vomiting and/or nauseated every morning, sometimes lasting the entire day. I’ve missed work, and therefore money over this. Which led me to wonder, was I physically ill or emotionally ill?
Since then I have sought medical attention. I’ve had a biopsy, along with some additional blood work. The type of blood work that identifies Hepatitis B and C, as well as HIV 1 and 2, and every other major STD. All tests came back Negative or Non-Reactive. “Well at least I’m not dying”, I thought. Which prompted me to wonder again, why the hell am I so out of it, so sick, especially in the mornings as I wake up for the day? (As a side note, I also happen to know that I’m not pregnant.)
That’s when my emotional well being came to mind. Was I satisfied with who I was, what I’m doing, WHO I was doing, or NOT doing for that matter? Precisely, was I happy with where I was right now in this very moment?
I’ve often asked these questions in the past. I had always rationalized the red flags, and skewed the answers. In the past when I asked myself these questions the Uni-Verse would whisper to me the answers, but I turned instead to rationalization and denial. Having ignored the Uni-Verse’s whispers for so long, now it is yelling in a way I cannot deny. (To Be Continued as Part 2)
